P.S.

I didn’t realize that I didn’t post about the 5K I ran at the begining of May! And I lived! I achieved my personal best time, so though I wasn’t able to run the whole way, I was still happy. Eventually I’ll get to that point. :)

I have another 5K coming up in August, if I don’t do another one before that. Something to work toward.

Yeah, it's been awhile

I have run. I have walked. I have hiked. I have climbed.

I have not lost much more weight.

To be fair, I’m not doing it as regularly or as often as I should. But I have been active. I’ve been to Alaska and back — driving there in a motorhome with husband and two grown kids, and flying back. Awesome. I didn’t eat as well as I would have liked, but I did have fun and experienced much. I saw bighorn sheep, dall sheep, grizzly bears, black bears, moose, caribou, snowshoe hares, ground squirrels, wild buffalo, sea otters, whales, stellar sea lions, puffins, sled dogs, and more. I repeat, awesome!

But now it’s time to get back to business. In addition to moving my butt, I'm also concentrating on using natural products and avoiding chemicals. Along the way I might talk about things that I like. My current favorite shampoo is BWC (Beauty without Cruelty) volume shampoo. I’ve tried many natural shampoos and conditioners, but not many make the grade (imho). I keep going back to the same conditioner -- Sea-Chi leave on moisturizing treatment. Just a very tiny amount rubbed into my ends after towel drying, leaves my hair in great shape. It’s expensive, but I use such a small amount that it lasts forever. I’m trying new cosmetics, moisturizer, and deodorant, so I’ll let you know how it works out. Now if I could only give up Diet Dr. Pepper and junk food.

Fatgirl walking

At least I’m walking consistently. I’ve walked seven miles total in the last two days. I’ve walked almost every single day this last week, even when it was 27 degrees. Almost ready to run. I’m actually trying to follow the recommendations on beginnertriathlete.com to avoid injuries. No, I’m not planning on doing a triathalon in the foreseeable future... but I could. :) Actually they have a really detailed training program outlined so I thought that would be a great place to start.

Walking is good for me, though. It’s a kind of a meditation. I listen to meditation mp3s on my iPod while observing the beauty along the way — the rolling hills and fields, the birds and horses, the sounds of the frogs and crickets, and best of all, when I'm really lucky, the deer. Dusk is my favorite time to go, with the sun setting over the fields. Then I watch for my own personal star to appear. I have claimed Venus as my own. I have never been really interested in astronomy, but ever since I first layed eyes on Venus rising in the western sky one winter night, I have been enchanted. It’s almost like it’s leading me, watching over me, trying to tell me something. I’m trying to listen.

Moving ahead

I did complete my walk/run after work last evening accompanied by my faithful furry companion. I used the opportunity to relisten to a Pema Chodron CD and work on my shenpa, as I continue to do today. It proved useful. As often happens (especially to me, I think), I was cut off by another driver on Pine Lake Avenue this morning on my way to work. Just as I began to mutter the usual obscenities and curses, I caught myself. In that moment, I actually smiled! I had succeeded in catching my shenpa! Now don’t get me wrong, I still have a long way to go, but it’s somewhat satisfying to realize that I’m a work in progress. There is hope.

Today's the day

This is it. This is where all those “I’ll do it tomorrows” end and a new day begins. I’ve had enough of being fat. I’m tired as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore. Inside this fat girl is a skinny girl who loves to run. I see her in my mind all the time, I know she’s there, just waiting to burst forth. So this is the first step of my personal journey to give her physical presence. Come along if you wish. :)